Sunday, August 31, 2014

Let it rain

I'm entering my 32nd week and as expected, it gets a tad harder every week. The past few weeks I've had uninvited guests consisting of lower back pain, pelvic pressure, massive nose bleeds and just a few days ago, the fashionably late arrival of shortness of breath. Walking the dog to the bakery just ten blocks up gets me wheezing and dizzy as if I were an octogenarian who had just ran a marathon. While I'm wary of the nostrums that are advertised for all our carrying ills, I have succumbed to buying a few and admittedly have adored them. My first try on the pregnancy pillow fell short as it was too large, but the second try, with a smaller number, found a loyal companion for my sleep (I hug it between my knees). Bra extenders descended unto my life as a seraphim - whomever thought of that product is a genius (sometimes the most simple solutions are the best). I had spent several unfruitful hours before I discovered their magic trying various sizes, unsatisfied. Now, I've just bought a belly support, recommended by my OB and yes, it does feel better! Although baby doesn't like me wearing it when I'm sitting or lying, informing me of his distaste with forceful kicks, so I only wear it when I'm up and about. And yes, I've moved on to the granny pants. None of my pre-baby clothes fit me now, so I wear the maternity clothes I bought (the staples  - jeans, work pants, shorts, a few dresses and a few tops) and have borrowed  (thank you J!) and have taken over my husband's wardrobe when at home.

Apart from these necessities, which have been worth every penny, I don't see the need to buy all the speciality products that have been made just to snap expectant mothers' dollars. There is a product for just about everything you don't need - and it gets even more elaborate when it comes to baby. I refused to give into the marketing. Noting the ordeal surrounding my wedding decorations, it seemed that everything that had "baby" in front of it, followed the "wedding" rule that it was 3 times more expensive than a product for a person not getting married nor having a baby. For instance, place "wedding" in front of serviettes and you pay the "wedding" price, even though, say, your engagement might have broken up the next day because you realized your soon to be life partner was an egotistical maniac and you ended up using the serviettes at your "freedom bash." For no other product do you get a tax, as if the merchant were a single embittered soul, solely for your intended use of the product than when you are about to have a wonderful life changing event such as getting married or having a baby. Or more likely they charge more because they can - knowing that in the reptilian depths of our psyche, faced with two equal objects wherein one is specified to be used for our special day or special arrival, we cannot but fail to choose it, lest it have the power of an added blessing.

Today I was bombarded with speciality baby products (you can't just buy any small blanket - it has to be a baby blanket and priced accordingly). We did the registry walk through. My friends insisted I have a baby shower. I had resisted a bridal shower and prevailed on that count, not having a desire to open gifts I had picked out in front of family and friends and then rave about how much I like them - thank you, this towel set is just so charming! My pleasure, I had a sneaking suspicion you liked it as you put it on your registry.

However, I was turned on to the baby shower idea. It would be party in the evening, including Y chromosomes and I wouldn't have to open gifts in front of people (and the gifts would be for baby!). That seemed fun! I held firm on the registry however... that is until today when my dear friend, my husband's cousin's wife, J, took me under her wing and introduced me to the zapper. I zapped away at 116 items, my husband trailing behind us, rolling his eyes. Does everything have to have an elephant he protested. Yes. They are wise, godly creatures. My rational self was consumed by my love of cute drawings. Aww, look at that elephant and giraffe blanket - how could I not get that? Aww, look at that rhino hooded towel! He has to have that. 116 items later (and two bathroom breaks) we were zapped out and now a little afraid to go online and see the consequence of our strikes.


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